God's Word to the Wise

God’s Word to the Wise

One of my better abilities was to converse with people in a more personal way. This led on some occasions of learning things about them that needed attention ASAP. Notice I wrote “Was.” My wife, my children, and a few friends have tried to get me to understand my previous ability to be personal, but not too personal is GONE. Victoria constantly tells me my filter is broken.

My son is currently with me watching out for dear old dad while my wife is galavanting around Europe. Thursday, I shared with him a recent FuPa. (I might be a bit too generous referring to it as such.) He said he left that conversation thinking I was genuinely contrite, only to be standing next to me later that day watching and listening to me do exactly what we discussed needs to change.

I have always been comfortable talking to anybody who will stay and listen, but now I speak to everyone who passes by within hearing distance of my personal space. Here are a couple of things he has observed me do in public the past few days. We parked at Walmart and I began talking to a stranger passing by as I was exiting the car. Inside the store I spoke to everyone with whom we came into close contact at a fever pitch; oblivious to my surroundings.

I have done different things that some might question. I am obsessed with sharing these past experiences with everybody. Whereas what I have done is a fact, some of the details I share about my participation with those experiences border on fiction. My friends and family don’t remember some things the way I do. Last night my son would interject that he didn’t remember what I was describing or he remembered it differently. My son-in-law’s father shared a similar observation.

All three of them pointed out that I’m not shy about telling, “MY Story.” I repeat my stories over and over, seeming to forget that they were either there or have heard them ad nauseam. I insist my version is correct when it is challenged by those who were there. I’d like to pull out the “It’s the disease that makes me do it” card, but I have come to believe that whereas the disease has some responsibility, the main damage the disease has done is to take away my ability to hide my sinful inclinations. I can’t hide what’s in my mind. For example, I have not been one to use profanity. but the stuff that comes out of my mouth now when provoked would curl a sailor’s toes. The disease can’t put such things in. It lets things out that is already there.

I knew a young man with Tourette’s Syndrome who didn’t swear uncontrollably. I asked him about this. He told me that the disease makes it impossible to keep to himself what he is thinking. He is not a profane person so he doesn’t swear. He was our soccer manager and would call out things he observed during the bus ride. He would call out loud, “Stop sign, deer next 2 miles, railroad tracks, McDonald’s, Kansas City 108 miles, etc. but never anything remotely questionable.

Some might ask why reveal this about myself? Aren’t some things better kept to ourselves? I believe that ALL of us have deep dark ickies we hide and yes, they might be better kept to ourselves. But we shouldn’t pretend they are no big deal. Since I am willing to share the flattering thing about myself, perhaps admitting there are many not so flattering things that I once could keep under wraps will help others.

I won’t promise not to reveal too much information about some of my deep dark ickies in future posts, but I will promise to have Victoria review such posts before publishing them.